Wednesday, August 6, 2008

reliving sophomore year of college, possibly?

I'm seriously so mad right now. I have been planning this weekend for at least 2 weeks, if not longer. I've been wanting to go since before school got out in May but I was waiting for someone to be around on a weekend to go with me, since I know how my parents can be. Well, it looks like I probably won't be going. at all. not this weekend, not another weekend.

So sophomore year before I moved into my apartment my parents decided to 'be parents' for the first time since, maybe freshman year of high school? I'm not saying that my parents were bad parents, I was just given the responsibilty I earned. Senior year I was able to go and hang out at Bentley College with my boyfriend pretty much whenever I wanted...I don't even know if I even told them I was going until after I was there most of the time. I didn't have a curfew, granted it was recommended that I was home by 1 a.m., but it was OK if I either came home a little after that, or just let them know I wasn't coming home for the night before they went to bed. Then comes the summer before I'm finally moving out on my own and my parents decide to start restricting what I do, where I go, and with who I go out with. Ok, fine, I was 20 years old and I still was technically living at home and they were trying to hold on to whatever control they could, but still.

And now. I'm 22 years old, I lived on my own from two years and wasn't planning on ever coming back home except for the fact that I didn't get a job after graduation like I planned and I had a lack on income to support my living on my own. And until this past week, my mom would ask if I was coming home at all, instead of when I was coming home. She would be happy when I was home for dinner and sat down to talk about my day with her. She was happy if she saw me at all on a weekend, since we were never in Maine at the same time it seemed like for a while. Yet, when I mention that hey, I'm going to drive down to visit one of my best friends for the last 6 years that I've known him before he leaves for at least a YEAR in china, she freaks out and wants to play parent again. And now, she has my dad on her side. They both have convinced themselves that if I drive the 4.5 hrs by myself, that a.) I will get lost and never come home b.) because I'm a girl that I'm definitely going to get killed (even though I don't plan on making any stops until I get there...) or c.) that my car will die and thus I will die. Yes, my car is old. But it runs great and I drive it so often that I know instantly when something isn't right. I can tell the second my tires need a little more air by the amount of gas I'm using. And since I get such great mileage, I wouldn't need to get gas until my way home and I'd make Chris come with me since I'm not familiar with the area. And, to be fair, I'm actually great with directions, and hello - I'm not dumb! I wouldn't stop in a random place to begin with, and I'm driving down during the middle of the afternoon. It's not like I'm driving to...I don't know...pick some really really danger place and let's pretend I'm going there. I'm going to a place that I have actually visited once in the past and oh look, I lived. And Chris and his family and friends have lived there for years. Yeah, I don't think I should be concerned and I'm really confused as to why there are.

I've already got yelled at for taking into consideration going by myself, and I don't even want to know what kind of argument is going to happen if I tell them I am going by myself. It's really come to the point that I should just lie and say I'm not going by myself and then hope they never find out.

maybe i'll just pack up some stuff and run away for a while...wouldn't that be funny?

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