seven years ago today...

seven years ago today:
- i was a sophomore in high school
- i had only read about things that happened in history, never living through anything major that would affect the rest of our lives
- i was terrified to fly, but it had nothing to do with people crashing planes into buildings
- i never thought that 1/4 of my life, so far, would be spent during a war that seems to have no end
- i never thought that more friends than i'd like to know would go overseas to fight for our country

every year, i reflect on today. i personally didn't lose anyone but i know many people that did. my uncle came VERY close to being in one of those towers, and i am thankful every day that he wasn't there. hes a psychologist who works with homeless people on the streets in NYC. his 'office' happened to be located in one of the towers but he was only required to go to a meeting once every few weeks with other people he worked with...it is mostly a 'get out there and help people' kinda job. September 11 just happened to be the day when his office was suppose to get together for a meeting, but he woke up that morning and for whatever reason, his meeting either got cancelled, or pushed back to later that afternoon, so he didn't need to go into the office. that saved his life and i know it has affected him ever since. he lost many people he knew that day.

i don't know why this year i feel as if i'm more affected, if that's the word i'm looking for. i guess maybe because this is the first year where i haven't been at school where everyone just talks about it. in high school, we always held a moment of silence and then talked about it in particular classes, depending on if the teacher knew someone or not. then at simmons, being a communications major, we would talk about the effect on the media or you'd see someone that knew someone that just needed to talk for a few minutes.

but this year, i was at brandeis. no one even mentioned it, which i find weird since i know my office had to have lost some alums. brandeis alums, especially the ones we target as donors, pretty much only live in NYC or abroad. these are very well-to-do professionals, who probably were there during the times of the attacks. i felt sad to know that no one, at least not at IBS, recognized the people who were lost that day.

today was also the first day i really noticed that planes that fly in and out of the small airport by my house. i've know that airport has been there for YEARS, since david had a boyscout camp outing there when we were little. but today, as i was driving to work, stuck in traffic, i could see all the planes flying in and out, and honestly, when i heard police cars coming down the highway, i got this sick feeling in my stomach, even though i knew the police probably had to do with an accident somewhere down the road and nothing to do with the airplanes, but that's what i thought. and of course, i could only picture the images that i've seen so many times that they are forever ingrained in my mind.

the verdict is still out whether or not i truly feel safer when i fly. granted, i HATED flying long before sept 11th was probably even a thought in the terrorists' minds. i've always wonder how something so big and heavy as a plane could possibly stay in the air. then of course, final destination came out, and surprise surprise, i got even more freaked out. i hate to admit it, but i really check my tray table every time i get on a flight. watch me, you'll laugh. but after sept 11th, i really questioned if i would ever feel completely safe, disregarding the falling out of the air by accident part. i think if someone was really determined to try to duplicate that day, they would. they found a loophole in the system then, so what makes it impossible for there to be another loophole none of us know about. for instance, coming back from jamaica, jen and laura both went through security with bottles of sunscreen in their carryons - unknowingly, but still. we didn't realize it until we were about to board and they were looking for something in their bags. how excited do you think i was to get on that plane? no amount of drugs could take away that feeling let me tell you. sure, boston might have pretty decent security, but other states? other countries? i have my doubts. and i know i'm not the only one.

i really hope that future generations are aware of the devastation that happened that day. i know that growing up we always learned about the world wars, pearl harbor, the gulf war, vietnam, cold war, etc. but this is just so different. this was mostly innocent people - people traveling for one reason or another, people at work, people trying to help other people, our nurses, doctors, police, firemen, emts, good citizens. and, in addition to all that, our soldiers have been out there for almost just as long, giving up their lives to honor those who died.

i just hope that no one ever forgets. i know i won't.